erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
