addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
