i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
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