where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
