is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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