well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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