haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize