? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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