I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
