well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
