He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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