you turned your livingroom into a bong?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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