We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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