So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
