yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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