What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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