You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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