I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
The uberlube is also flammable
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
