Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
