A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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