I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
