Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Randomize
