All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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