So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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