Porn is love you can see.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
