dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
