How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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