Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
