OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
The feeling are messing with the penis
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
