if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
