i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
