You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
