Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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