Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
