Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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