There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
