Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
