Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Ladies don't puke and tell
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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