I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
