Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
