summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
