It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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