Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
