He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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