My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
The adults are the big ones right?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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