I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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