One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
