awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
He kissed a someone with a penis
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
