Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I will pee on everything he values.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize