Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
