My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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