I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize