Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
it was like eating out sand paper
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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