Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(541): View more from Oregon

He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes

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(212): View more from New York

You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?

(475): View more from Connecticut

Yeah?

(212): View more from New York

Stuck it in his pooper.

Fav 209 11133 5014
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.

Fav 14 4683 1227
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(423): View more from Tennessee

The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough

Fav 5 2676 1181
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(315): View more from New York

The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.

Fav 3 3104 1123
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(630): View more from Illinois

Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.

Fav 4 2041 1048
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(256): View more from Alabama

I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.

Fav 0 1518 714
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(804): View more from Virginia

my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.

Fav 3 688 447
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(239): View more from Florida

I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life

Fav 3 17 46
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