either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize