I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
