farters have to be the big spoon...
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
