found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
