i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize