im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
