he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
