So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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