So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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