What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
