I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
