I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Hippo gnu deer
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
