he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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