i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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