You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
