As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
