i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize