I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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