Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
