Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
