he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
