All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
