I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
