I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
