listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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