im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You need a sexual gate keeper
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
