From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
