Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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